Picture courtesy of “Southern Living Mag”Skip the ubiquitous metal tree stand, and give your tree a unique base by anchoring it in a large container. Adjust the vessel to your style: fancy urns for an elegant look and rustic baskets for a casual one.

Merry Christmas!

 Living In Durham

It is the Holiday Season again one of my favourite times of the year. Not only because my birthday falls on Christmas Day but because I just enjoy this time of the year. Feel free to browse through the recipes offered. Most of these recipes came from “Southern Living Mag  and Southern Accent Mag” You can go to the website directly and browse through other recipes they offer.

I came from a family that love to gather together at Christmas Time. When we cook in the Caribbean we cooked for an army, too funny, oh, my, gosh! I remember my Grandmother who was a great cook, she would have 10-15 people over cooking in the kitchen the night before Christmas, gosh, I am crying as I write this. I miss her so much. She was a very kind and giving and loving person she never cooked just for the family she always cook and give to everyone she knew. I have never met anyone as kind and loving as she is. I can’t help writing or talking about her without crying. Anyway, Christmas with her was always fun, and she never worry about whether she had money or not, she just made do with what she had. So, enjoy your Christmas Holidays, as long as you have great company and good friends you’ll be okay.

Holiday Appetizers and Treats!

Choose appetizers for the party that will look and taste good as the evening progresses, get Recipe: Brie Tartlets With Grape Relish.

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup chopped walnuts 
  1/2 (15-oz.) package refrigerated piecrusts
  1/2 (8-oz.) Brie round, rind removed
• 3/4 cup seedless red grapes, chopped
• 1 green onion, minced
• 1 1/2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar $ 1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper Garnish: fresh rosemary sprigs

Preparation

• 1. Place walnuts in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake at 350° for 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly toasted and fragrant. Increase oven temperature to 425°.
• 2. Unroll piecrust on a flat surface. Cut into 24 rounds using a 2-inch round cutter. Press rounds into bottoms of ungreased miniature muffin cups (dough will come slightly up sides, forming a cup). Prick bottom of dough with a fork.
• 3. Bake at 425° for 6 to 7 minutes or until golden. Remove from pans, and cool on a wire rack 15 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 300°.
• 4. Meanwhile, cut Brie round into 24 pieces. Stir together grapes and next 4 ingredients.
• 5. Arrange pastry shells on a baking sheet. Place 1 Brie piece in each pastry cup; sprinkle Brie pieces evenly with toasted walnuts.
• 6. Bake at 300° for 4 to 6 minutes or just until cheese begins to melt. Top tarts evenly with grape mixture. Garnish, if desired. Serve immediately.

Sheri Castle, Chapel Hill, North Carolina, Southern Living
NOVEMBER 2007

Muffuletta Dip with Fresh Parsley

Parmesan cheese helps hold ingredients together. You can serve this versatile recipe on French bread crostini or with crackers over a block of cream cheese. Try tossing leftovers in a Caesar salad.

• Recipe: Muffuletta Dip

Yield: Makes about 4 cups
Total: 1 Hour, 10 Minutes

Ingredients

• 1 cup Italian olive salad, drained
• 1 cup diced salami (about 4 oz.)
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup chopped pepperoncini salad peppers
• 1 (2 1/4-oz.) can sliced black olives, drained
• 4 ounces provolone cheese, diced
• 1 celery rib, finely chopped
• 1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
• Serve with: French bread crostini

  Preparation

• Stir together first 9 ingredients. Cover and chill 1 to 24 hours before serving. Stir in parsley just before serving. Serve with French bread crostini. Store leftovers in refrigerator up to 5 days.
• Note: We tested with Boscoli Italian Olive Salad.

Recipe inspired by Kelli Tuttle, Drummond, Wisconsin, Southern Living
JANUARY 2011

Chocolate-Red Velvet Layer Cake

This moist and chocolate red velvet cake is filled with layer upon layer of sweet cream cheese frosting.

• Recipe: Chocolate Red Velvet Cake

I Love Pomegranate and usually I just eat it as is but here is a great recipe for a cocktail, enjoy!

Sparkling Pomegranate Punch

This bubbly, sweet-tart cocktail combines sparkling wine, dessert wine and deep red pomegranate juice.

Go to Sparkling Pomegranate Punch recipe

Recipe: Sparkling Pomegranate Punch

FAST!

1. 3 tablespoons sugar
2. 1 cup pomegranate juice
3. Two 750-milliliter bottles sparkling wine, chilled
4. 3/4 cup late-harvest white wine, such as late-harvest Riesling, chilled
5. 2 oranges, thinly sliced crosswise
6. 1 cup diced fresh pineapple (1/2 inch)
7. 1/4 cup pomegranate seeds
8. Ice cubes, for serving

1. In a punch bowl, dissolve the sugar in the pomegranate juice, stirring vigorously. Add the sparkling wine and late-harvest white wine, then add the orange slices, diced pineapple and pomegranate seeds. Serve the sparkling pomegranate punch over ice cubes.

This Local Winery is the only place I love to purchase wine from during the Holidays. Not everyone goes for Apple Wine, but I do love their wines but for me on a personal level I love supporting the local Small Business people that work so hard but don’t get the recognition they deserve for the products they create.

http://www.archibaldswinery.com/

6275 Liberty Street North  
Bowmanville, ON L1C 3K6

Wine to your door!

And – "Free Shipping" within Ontario when you order 12 bottles of wine!

You can purchase Archibalds Wines from the comfort of your home.  Just call us with:

• Your choice of wine & quantity
• Shipping information
• Method of payment – Credit card

My Favourites:

Ida Red Oak Aged—This wine goes well with most dishes.

“Favourite Thing to Make during the Holidays”

Okay, this section was taken from my 2010 blog post for last Christmas just to save time posting this Christmas feature. However, I do love making the Gingerbread house for my kids and this year will be no exception I will make this for them. I just love the look on their faces when I make it and they get to decorate it themselves. I can’t help smiling to myself, yes, Gingerbread houses do that to you.  Anyway, don’t panic, it’s easy to make, very easy. Just get yourself organized and you’ll be fine. I am a professional Baker but any novice can bake this quite easily. I promise—Enjoy baking!

What I like to do every year with the kids is make them a Gingerbread House and let them do the decorating themselves. This year is no exception, I will make the base of the Gingerbread house for them and then let them decorate it. This creates a lot of fun and excitement for them because they get to decorate the Gingerbread house however they choose to do it, and it gives me extra time to do other things.

Below you will find the Gingerbread house I made for my kids last year. After watching a television cooking show based in the UK. I realized this recipe was a keeper. The Gingerbread dough is so easy to make and so easy to handle, even if you are just a novice baker you will love this recipe. It uses quite a bit of ginger but it’s worth it.  You can prepare the dough ahead put in the refrigerator and get on with something else until it’s ready. Don’t panic once you make the dough and it comes off the stove you will be saying this is too soft I can’t work with it. You will be at first, but once you put it in the refrigerator– don’t forget though you will have some flour on hand to sprinkle on it while you roll out the dough. * Note the cooking time on the recipe says 40 mins. but it doesn’t take so long it should only take you about 15-20 mins. each batch depending on how many Gingerbread houses you plan on making.

Making Gingerbread houses are great fun for the kids and they are not expensive to make quite the opposite. Another Idea would be if you are the kind of person who have many grandchildren, nieces, or nephews you can make the Gingerbread houses but do not decorate them just wrap them as gifts once they are set. Then give them to the children as gifts for them to decorate.

Here is a recent comment posted on the site about this Gingerbread House:  Posted 05 Nov 2010 3:51 PM

“I have made this gingerbread house for the last 3 years for my children’s school fayre. I donate it for the raffle prize and it always gets lots of attention and comments after it has been eaten! really nice soft chewy gingerbread. Very easy to make.”

Here is the link below for the Gingerbread Recipe Enjoy making it and have lots of fun!!

Recipe Link: http://uktv.co.uk/food/recipe/aid/610040

Template Link: http://uktv.co.uk/download/uktvfood_gingerbread_template.pdf

Seasonal Shops and Seasonal Events

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Cross the threshold and enter the magical imagination of a child at Christmas. Angels, Santa’s, Reindeer& Snowmen abound. The trees are brimming with exquisite decorations in both traditional and avant garde styles.

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ACANTHUS INTERIORS CHRISTMAS HOUSE TOUR

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for more ticket information of to reserve tickets contact us at acanthusinteriors@bell.net

or call 1800 494 6132

ANNUAL CHRISTMAS OPEN HOUSE

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26 & SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27

acanthusinteriors@bell.net.

Christmas Tree-lighting Ceremony Friday
December 2, 2011

Friday, December 2  •  6 p.m. to 11 p.m.

Usher in the Holiday season with this very popular festival. Come experience a Historic Downtown Christmas. Countdown to lighting of the town’s huge Christmas tree. Stop and listen to carolers sing, have your picture taken with Santa and his Live Reindeer. A great time to Christmas shop, as participating downtown stores remain open late and many have sales for the evening. This festival is enjoyed by many families.

Christmas in the Village Friday, November 25, 2011

• When:   Friday Nov 25th, 2011 – 6:00pm
• Where:   Downtown Brooklin, Grass Park
• Contact Name:   Kim Tafertshofer
• Contact Tel:   (905) 430-4300 x2238
• Contact Email: ddco@whitby.ca

Picture Courtesy of “Coastal Living Mag” Hardwoods and distressed furniture maintain the cozy feel of this coastal cottage, while a loud throw pillow adds a smidge of modern appeal.

Booster Shots For Living

It is Saturday and it is fall, I love the fall season though, but it is cold by the lake,very cold. I have been so busy in the past week trying to get as organized as I can with my moving, I think if you ask me my name, I would forget. Too funny, oh, my, gosh! Yep, I am so tired I can’t remember my name. I will be spending today relaxing listening to music and wondering, “why on earth did I decide to give myself so much work?” Oh, my, gosh. Don’t ask me where I find the time or the energy. My entire apartment is clean though so once I move in all I have to do is just pack out the remainder of the things I have. Anyway, next week will be the week that I will be packing out most of the things I have so I will be very busy. I know, my blog readers are saying, I am busy but I am still writing my blog post. Writing for me is like breathing it doesn’t feel like work at all, writing keeps me centered and focus, it comes naturally to me and yes, it calms me. Writing for me is like baking, baking comes so naturally to me it doesn’t feel like work.

Yep, that’s me always trying to get as organized as possible, staying one step ahead. Yes, I like to do everything in advance, get as organize as possible, less stress—no I don’t need the stress—Yes, I have enough to deal with already, I need a break though, some rest would be nice. Anyway, I know God is watching over me. I can’t prove it, but I know he’s watching over me everyday, no doubt about it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to make it this far. Yes, God does indeed have a plan for me, so I am just going with the flow, I will leave everything in his hands, he does a better job than I do.

So, this week I posted just some of the music I am listening to this weekend, (see below). Let’s take a look at Lil Wayne’s song: “How to Love.”

This song honestly reminds me of a girlfriend I had in Jamaica years ago, just after I finished College. We met because I rented an apartment from her boyfriend in Montego Bay. This girl was absolutely beautiful, gorgeous—I still remember her name, Mauviet. However, she got caught up with the wrong guy. This guy was into drugs, and he hung out with the wrong kind of people and yes, he carried a gun along with his friends. I didn’t know he owned a gun until months later after renting the apartment. Anyway, within about 6 months or so, I moved to Ocho Rios to work at a Resort but before I left, I tried tirelessly to get her to leave this guy.

I remember telling her, “your so beautiful you have so much potential, just leave him and find someone else.” She told me everytime she tried leaving he would find her and bring her back. What would this guy do to get her back? He would threaten to hurt her mother or the rest of her family, he knew where her mom lived. I felt so sorry for her. Anyway, her boyfriend figured I was trying to get her to leave him and and he told me to “back off and leave her alone.” Typical me, oh, my, gosh! If I see someone in trouble I will try to help them. I knew he carried a gun and he had a criminal record so, yeah, I backed off. I just prayed for her and told her to try and figure out a way to leave this guy. I don’t know what happened to her but I still think about her now and again. So yes, this song reminds me of her.

This is what Lil Wayne song is about. It’s about how some of us young women get caught up with the wrong guy or the wrong relationship because many of us, never had a role model, someone in our lives to show us what love is. As we grew up, we kinda just learnt on our own, which is not bad but it helps if you have great role models in your life like your mom or dad or grandparents. For me my Grandparents were my role models. Anyway, before you know it, most women end up in situations that is just bad for us. I think one of the important things to point out and yes, I take this advice for myself as well, my Grandmother always say, “You can never judge a book just by it’s cover.” So true, So true. Sometimes we women meet men and we take them at face value first without really seeing what these men are made from the inside. A man might dress in a nice suit, but underneath their character speaks volumes of what they are inside. So, often times we might meet someone and fall hard for them but that doesn’t help us, because you have to be able to see what a person is made of from the inside first.  If a person is not sincere about their feelings for you as a woman it will come through eventually.

How? Just by the persons actions, if they cause the person more pain, suffering and even financial loss, etc, etc, then that person is not someone who loves sincerely. Yes, “you might love the person—but the person don’t necessarily love you too, or I should say their love for you doesn’t run as deep.” Everything always comes down to a persons actions. If they treat you kindly and with respect then they have good intentions. Plus it’s all about follow through. You have to watch and see how soon they drop the ball on you, because insincere people can never fake it for long. Their true self always comes out in the end. No you can never fake your personality, your personality is like your DNA it is embedded in you, you can never fake that, no matter how much you try. If they treat you disrespectfully, then they are not been sincere. I have to be honest by saying that sometimes we women see the signs, yes the signs and yes, I will say I am guilty of that, yep! Guilty as charged, oh, my, gosh! We see the signs that the person is not right for us, but we either ignore it, or we try to tell ourselves that what see can’t possible be true, because the person outward appearances says otherwise. Yep!

Sometimes you ask yourself when you meet someone and they treat you disrespectfully without any regard has to how much they have hurt us, and you wonder “How could someone look so nice and so pleasant have such a mean spirit and show such lack of compassion?” Your kinda left stunned as a woman wondering why would someone behave the way they did. What possessed them to react the way they did? Not out of love, no. They must have reacted due to some other reasons not known. When you can’t figure out why you just leave it alone and move on with your life, yes just move on with your life and God will always open up another door for us in life. Let the person who treated you badly, let them live with their actions on their conscience you just leave them in God’s hands. At some point in time they will see what they have done and realize the impact of their actions and then hopefully they will learn from their actions that what they did was not right. Sometimes when people do things to hurt me, I sometimes wonder if they don’t think about the future. Especially in terms of their children. One day they too will have children, “would they want anyone to treat their daughter that way?” A very, very important question for them to ask themselves. Before we hurt others we should all try to think about the consequences of our actions first and the impact it could have on a persons life.

When you fall hard for someone and it didn’t work out, my best advice is, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on with your life. Always, always, look on the brighter side of life, always.  I remember watching a movie once with actor John Cusack and he was saying in the movie that everytime you fall in love and your heart gets broken your heart expands and get bigger. So when you meet a new person and you fall in love with them, your heart then opens up more for this new person coming into your life. Yeah, I think that is true, Love is infinite right. It is endless, so yes, if your heart gets broken you can fall in love with someone else again. It happens to many people all over the world everyday. So, yes that statement by John is indeed true.

Another door always opens for us in life, God never, ever leaves us alone, he always has a plan, always. I always say, just leave everything in God’s hands he can see everything, even if you can’t he can, so just let him do his work, just trust in him. Nothing is ever hidden from God. Like I mentioned before, God will always open up another door for you, where there is a will there is a way, God never ever leaves our side, even when you think God have let you down, he didn’t he’s right there. So, never lose faith in God, never. Even if something bad happen to you in life, don’t blame God. Remember there is good and bad in this world God would love to save all of us but he can’t. He will however, stay by your side for as long as it takes and help as much as he can.

If you watch the Lil Wayne video you will see what I mean. About the fact that, unfortunately many women end up on the wrong side of life, but like the video shows if we make wise choices our lives could turn out really good and happy. Here is the link for the actual video: Lil Wayne Video: How to Love

For More Pumpkin carving ideas visit “Southern Living Mag” just click on the link.

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Stormie Omartian Prayer of the Day
www.stormieomartian.com

When You Need Help in Tough Times

Lord, I come before Your throne right now with confidence, knowing that because I am Your child, Your mercy is extended to me. I need Your mercy and grace to be manifested in my life in great measure today. I face difficult things, and I know I cannot meet these challenges without Your help. Enable me to walk through them successfully or lift me out of them completely. I know You will bring good out of the difficult times I go through, and I thank You for the miracles You will do in my life in the process.

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

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Yes, this is just a short list of what I am listening to this weekend

 Have a great Weekend Everyone!

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Featured Musician of the Week:  “Lil Wayne”

Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. is 29 yrs.old, better known by his stage name Lil Wayne, is an American rapper. (Lil wayne and one his daughter’s seen in picture.) Lil Wayne was born Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. and grew up in the Hollygrove neighborhood of New Orleans, Louisiana. Carter was born when his mother, a chef, was 19 years old. His parents were divorced when he was 2, and his father permanently abandoned the family. At age 13, he accidentally shot himself with a 9 mm handgun, and off-duty police officer Robert Hoobler drove him to the hospital, he almost died. After earning his GED, Wayne enrolled at the University of Houston in January 2005. He dropped out in the same year due to his conflicting schedule. He also revealed on The View that he switched to the University of Phoenix and majored in psychology taking online courses. Lil Wayne is a practicing Christian,who takes time to read the Bible regularly.

Yep, love this song from Lil Wayne digging the beat and the lyrics…Enjoy.

Watch Video On Youtube

Released May 25, 2011

Watch Video On Youtube

Love, Love, Love this song, by Karl Wolf and Kardinal Offishall can’t stop listening to it, of course the
reggae beat mixed with a bit of hip hop, is cool…enjoy!

Watch Video On Youtube

Pitbull and Marc Anthony love this song…enjoy.

Watch Video On Youtube

Saturday, October 15  •  9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

A very popular event, come experience the fall atmosphere in our historic downtown. Every great festival is built on great food, great events, and great fun! In Bowmanville, the fun begins with a pancake breakfast early morning not to mention the apple butter and apple cider available all day long. Enjoy the food while walking around the town and taking in the sights, craft markets, performances by local musicians and did we mention apple pies and candy apples. Our Boutique shops are also a favourite at this harvest time of year.

Apple Pie Baking Contest Form Download Here:

http://www.bowmanville.com/images/files/Apple%20Pie%20Ad-11.pdf

Booster Shots For Living

Love forced is always false love and yes, filled with hate, no respect and is not authentic or genuine.

It is 12:011 am and I am watching Eat Street on the Food Network. How boring is that? Oh, my gosh! I can’t flipping sleep. Well, I don’t feel like sleeping that’s what I should say. I need some mommy me time, yep! That is what I need, sometime for me to just relax, take a break, chill out, yep.

I am a happy mom my daughter won a trip to the Air Canada Centre to see Nelly Furtado and Joe Jonas and others. Out of the grade 7 & 8 class in her school only 13 kids made the list. I had to help her write a paragraph on leadership in schools it had to do with a global cause so we choose a topic I felt passionate about “Child Labour in Factories in India and China.” She won! Good for her. She was like “mom your so awesome,” I am like, “Okay, I will take that, I’ll take that.” We moms know that we don’t get called awesome alot at all. I don’t get called awesome alot around here too often, so I will take that, too funny, oh, my, gosh! Later I asked her I said, “can I get awesome in writing please?” Yeah, I am happy for her.

Today will leave me with just 7 weeks for me to leave this place I once called home. I have been really busy getting my new apartment move-in-ready after ending a 17 year marriage. I was lucky to find a nice little place in a residential neighbourhood, I didn’t want to put my kids in a high rise apartment. They have a backyard to play in so that’s good. I wanted to make my two kids as comfortable as possible. They both requested their favourite colours so, I have been painting and cleaning, like crazy. I have no life, no life, gosh!  I can’t wait to move in and just breathe and catch my breath. What a journey, only God would have had the power to help me to get to this stage of my Journey. Thank you God, for everything.

Anyway, my topic this week is learning to know the difference between Love  and Hate or between real authentic love and false love.

The Difference between Love and Hate

Demanding someone loves you shows that you have no self-confidence and shows immaturity. The love that is been offered is cold and void of true love and is not authentic or real love. It is forced love. When a man doesn’t take “No” for an answer, right away you know as a woman that they are “Controllers and Dictators.” These people tend to be “emotionally abusive,” and in many cases “physically abusive.” I want no one like this in my life, thank you very much, and don’t think I don’t know how to spot people like this, I do.

Ladies if a man is forcing or demanding you love him this man will turn out to be an abusive man to be with in a relationship. If a man is disrespecting your rights as a human being as a woman and cannot respect the fact that you don’t love him or will ever love him, then that man is definately not the kind of man you want in your life. A man who “forces himself on a woman have no respect for himself or you.”  If he has no respect for himself it means the person is incapable of loving the woman or themselves. This is a “Huge Red Flag” and warning sign for a woman. Anytime a man is forcing you to love him “he doesn’t have your best interest at heart, he doesn’t care for you, about your feelings and he doesn’t value you as a woman.”  Harsh, but true. Yes, they say the truth hurts, but it will also set you free.

The man usually have a hidden agenda. He is driven by “Lust not love.” People need to know the difference. Love is calm, respectful, kind, appreciative, warm, generous, forgiving, compassionate and offers the person the freedom to be themselves without restrictions and true love radiates light and happiness for those whom the person cares for. On the other hand, lust is driven by force, intimidation, ruthlessness, lack of respect, short-term gain. Basically, lust is like “Empty Calories.” Once the thrill of the chase is over and the person has achieved their objective in fulfilling their desire then “their interests dies.” Lust is empty and is always void of true love. It is fueled by hate, and lack of respect to the woman.

When a man is demanding a woman loves him it means he “Lacks self-confidence as a man.” Men who continuously demands that a woman loves them are lazy partners to be with in a relationship. Yes, they are the kind of men who are lazy in relationships they want the women to do all the work, they are also the kind of men that don’t want to do the work in trying to find a partner for themselves. So, instead they harass the woman, become a stalker or try to intimidate the women into loving them.

I am a strong, independent woman and no man, yes, no man like this will ever be welcomed into my life. If I didn’t love you at first sight it means I don’t love you or I am not inlove with you. If I say, “I don’t love you.” Don’t try to force me to love you, it will never work. For me that’s a huge red flag. Women, any man that say something to the effect of “ I will make you love me,” Is a “Controller, Dictator and Abuser and doesn’t respect your rights has a woman.” You can’t force anyone to love you it will only lead to disaster.

Self-esteem is a huge issue with men like these. Men who are confident in themselves don’t demand women love them and don’t act like a 2 year old child. A confident man knows if a woman says “no, I am not inlove with you,” they may feel disappointed BUT they know life is for living and if it didn’t work out with a particular woman then it was not meant to be and that the universe will very soon have someone lined up for them around the corner. They know they just have to be patient.

When a confident  man believes in himself he acts accordingly. He knows without a doubt that the right person for him will materialize very soon. A man without confidence in himself though, will “persecute a woman, insult her, demand she loves him and make her life a living hell,” just like that guy portrayed in the Dr.Phil video. Just because the woman doesn’t love him back, he’s now going to insult her and make her feel horribly and unhappy. Men like these need to work on themselves, seriously work on themselves and grow up and stop acting like children.

Which woman out there wants men like these? Not me, I don’t. Men like these have too many issues to deal with, and they seriously need to go work on themselves first before getting into any relationship—especially if they plan on committing to marriage. Their job has nothing to do with their personal well-being. A man might have a successful job or business but when it comes to relationships they fail in the love department because they lack self-esteem and confidence. There are deep rooted issues that these men need to resolve before going into a committed long-term relationship, such as marriage.

I have two children, as a mom I will babysit my children but having learnt from past life experiences, I refuse going forward in my new life to babysit a grown man. The man I see in my minds eye must be confident, self-assured and value me as a person and who is willing to fight for my honor, and respect me as a person. A man who don’t expect perfection because he knows that he himself is not perfect and that we all make mistakes in life. It is how we rise above our mistakes and trials that makes us who we are—that’s what makes us special and separates us from the people who feel they are perfect and it’s a crime if we make mistakes in life. The man is confident in himself and doesn’t demand a woman loves him and have respect for women. I don’t need no “Controller or an Emotionally Abusive man in my life,” thank you very much, life is way too short for that. Plus, I love myself too much and I need to not only live my life in the right way but I have to set an example for my daughter and son to follow—as well, I want nothing less for myself. So, don’t force yourself on me and demand I love you, because it will not happen.

This Is For Women

If a man is demanding you love him or is forcing himself to be in a relationship with you. “It is a huge red flag and warning sign.” Why? Respect. The man clearly has no respect for you as a woman. Has the relationship progresses, the respect deteriorates, because he had no respect for you from the beginning. Yes, at first things are fine, he will pretend to give you full autonomy in making decisions when it comes to both of you. He will pretend and act like, “Oh, I give you the opportunity to be independent and for you to make whatever decisions you want, he will be like, “oh, honey it’s your choice you decide.” Don’t let that fool you. Men like these can’t keep up the “charade” for long. Remember, men who demands that a woman loves them are “Controllers.” They will never change. Eventually, like I say the respect deteriorates. They eventually become “Emotionally Abusive and sometimes Physically Abusive.” Men who are controllers also have a “Filthy Temper.” These men tend to lie alot too, they can never tell the truth about anything.  (See the videos I offered from Dr.Phil this guy lies like crazy)

No matter how much they hide their lack of respect from the woman at the initial stage of the relationship. Eventually, their bad temper shows up. It’s not a matter of if they will show their temper—it’s a matter of when. Another thing with men who are “Controllers,” most of them are the “Betrayers.”  They tend to keep the woman isolated from everyone and they are great manipulators. They use their lack of respect for the women to try and break down the woman’s self-confidence over time. Which eventually deteriorates the relationship. This now creates major conflict in the relationship. Then these same men use the conflict as an excuse to betray the woman. When they betray the woman they then turn around and blame the women for the betrayal. How sick is that? All manipulation. So, controlling men and manipulators goes hand in hand. Why? You can never please a controller. They will never be satisfied with anything you do for them, very selfish people, it’s always “Me, Me, Me.” Not us. It’s all about them and how they feel, what they want, how everybody must bow to them and comply to their wishes and do what they want. Huge Ego these men, Huge.

“Everyone must comply with their wishes or suffer the consequences or die—You either do what they want or they will beat you to a pulp and harass you or make your life a living hell not only for you as a woman but everyone around them must suffer the consequences. Give me what I want and make me happy or you will live to regret it.”

For Men

When a woman does not love you, is not inlove with you, or doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, OR she didn’t express to you verbally that she wants to be in a relationship with you, don’t persecute the woman, insult her and belittle her and become a maniac if the woman doesn’t want to be with you—for crying out loud grow up and be a man about it!

Not only will it end in disaster, but the woman will feel nothing but resentment for you, neither will she have any respect for you. Find someone who loves you back. The right person for you will show up eventually that far exceeds your expectation and matches your temperament and personality. Overall, don’t demand, dictate, or force a woman to love you. It will never materialize into anything. Especially marriage, something I have some experience with. If you are a man and you are forcing a woman to love you, especially if you are thinking of committing to marriage you are in essence:

“forcing the woman to lie to you, forcing her to lie to herself and her family, your family and friends that she loves you when she doesn’t. Especially if you are committing to marriage, basically you want the woman to lie before God, lie before her family and friends on her wedding day and say she loves you when she doesn’t.”

If a man wants a woman to lie to God about how she really feels inside then that man is not for her. I would tell my daughter not to enter any relationship with any man like this. That is one thing a man should never, ever try or attempt to try with me—they would be crossing the line of major disrespect to me as a woman of faith who believes in following God’s Spiritual laws, “Don’t ever ask me to lie to God—Never.” I respect God way too much and love and respect myself too much. Ever since God appeared to me as a small child, I have come to love and respect God and I keep God very close to me and so does God, if someone wants me to lie to God and myself about how I feel, I am sorry, I will choose God over them. I will not lie to God and say I love someone when I don’t love them especially if I were getting married to someone, “Why on earth would I lie to God in front of friends and family on such a special day, especially if I was getting married—about how I feel for someone?”

—I would never do that. My Grandmother Verona always say this when someone gets her upset or they are forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do she always say, “ I will not sin myself for anyone.” I say the same thing too, “I will not commit a sin for anyone–Amen.”

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Stormie Omartian Prayer of the Day
www.stormieomartian.com

When You Need to Renew Your Mind

Lord, I praise You and worship You above all things. You are Lord over my life, and I invite You to be Lord over my thoughts as well. I don’t want to have any ungodly, foolish, or futile thoughts in my mind at any time. I don’t want my thoughts to control my life unless they are thoughts of You and Your Word. Help me to make praise and worship an ongoing part of my life so that wrong thoughts never find a place to reside in my mind.

Although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Romans 1:21

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Deepak Chopra is an expert in his field and yes, Deepak is right. Love is Louder. Love, true authentic love will always surpass hate or false love. That is what he is saying. Controllers are bullies. Why? Lack of self-esteem causes people to bully others into intimidation. Most people now in society also realizes nowadays that some bullies can become physically violent not only with strangers or families members but also with their own partner in a relationship. So, true what Deepak says.

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The Overall message from these two videos from Dr.Phil’s show is that, men like these have way too big a ego and yes, they don’t respect women. They think women are beneath them, they expect a woman must love them, because they are successful in their careers and they earn a six figure income. Especially if the woman earns less than them or doesn’t have a successful career as them. These men always make the woman feel like they are doing the woman a favour. It’s like “I have lots of money, so you must love me, bow to me, if you don’t love me your life will never be fruitful, successful or happy.” Please give me a break! 

“Listen a woman will date a guy who takes the bus or walk to work and earn less money if he’s a nice guy, and treats her with respect rather than date a guy who have a bad attitude or a man who lacks self-confidence in himself, always remember that.”

Like the guy in the video the girl rejects him and now he insults her by saying she must be fat. This man is immature, selfish, lacks respect for himself and women. Most importantly, the fact that he calls her fat immediately is a sounding alarm for me—“This guy in a relationship with any woman will be emotionally abusive to any woman he dates—It’s obvious he doesn’t respect the rights of women.” So, if the woman “lord forbids, puts on a little weight during the relationship he would insult her or dump her?” Calling the woman fat, and getting angry because she rejects him, is a huge red flag. Guys like these seriously need to work on themselves. They need to take sometime and work on their issues before dating anyone or think about getting married to anyone at all. These guys never see their own faults or shortcomings, yet they are always quick to point the finger at someone else and degrade a woman and try to crush her self-esteem because she doesn’t love them. Their Ego is way too big for themselves. They need to learn to be humble and respectful first, but first they need to respect and love themselves, otherwise they will never have a successful relationship with anyone. Look for men like these to always want people to do what is “Unethical, Unjust and Unfair to make them happy, they have no morals or values—None and yes, they don’t respect women.” If they did respect the woman they would say, “you know what, the woman is not interested I will move on and find someone else, not belittle, insult or harass the woman to eternity just because she is not interested in them.”

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*Please watch part 2 of Dr.Phil’s video here:
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Brad Douglas Paisley is 38 years old and is an American singer-songwriter and musician. Paisley was the 2008 CMA and ACM Male Vocalist of the Year winner. He has stated that his love of country music stems from his maternal grandfather, Warren Jarvis, who gave Paisley his first guitar, a Sears Danelectro Silvertone. Brad is married to Actress Kimberly Williams with whom he has two sons. She is best known for her co-starring role on the ABC sitcom, According to Jim, as well as her breakthrough performance in the popular comedy film, Father of the Bride. She is 40 yrs.old

Postcard of Love and Light: “Bright Eyes”

I am a huge country music fan and I love this new song from Brad and Carrie….I dedicate this song to someone whom I love dearly, whom I miss everyday, no day goes by and they are not in my thoughts and prayers and who will always be in my heart, soul and spirit… “Bright Eyes”wherever you are this song goes out to you. Yes, like Carrie sings, “that look in your eyes that I miss so much.” Turn this up and enjoy.  Yes, this song is awesome… can’t stop singing and playing it.

Released July 28,2011

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Jessica Danielle Andrews  is 27 years old and lives in Huntingdon, Tennessee. She is an American country music singer.
When she was seven, a bone was growing through her spinal cord, a condition that required surgery. She had a 50/50 chance of coming out of it paralyzed. Andrews learned her passion for singing in the fourth grade.

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