(picture courtesy of Southern living Magazine—Yes, I’m already thinking about spring.)
(Picture of myself-Blog Writer taken by my 11 yr.old daughter on Monday, January 3, 2011—I believe she did a great job.) 
Why can’t the Heart do what the Head tells it to do when it comes to matters of the Heart? Answer: “I have no idea.”
This week my blog feature is about me.
Once again one of those nights that I could not sleep, have too much on my mind, just woke up awhile ago and my head feels really groggy, ahhh……oh, my, gosh! Today, I try to free myself all due to “Letters to Juliet” the movie. The movie had such a profound effect on me I was compelled to tell my own story though short in my own way.
For several months now I have been fighting a battle with my own heart. I have questioned myself immensely, I have prayed about this, I have cried, yes, cried about this for many months now and yes, sometimes unable to sleep—oh, my, gosh! I feel comfortable about saying that though. I have asked myself do I make my decision based on my head or my heart. I have questioned the why and how and tried so many ways to try and justice, as well as question the other persons action eventually, after several months now I decided I would go with my heart because that’s all I have left.
This week will be my week of, “coming clean,” so to speak. knowing that in the end I can only be honest with myself and God. I can’t turn back the clock and changed what happen to me or how a particular person feels about me—sorry, I can’t say any more than that—"I know penny for my thoughts”– but at least I can be honest with myself. I love expressing myself through music, so today, I express how I feel about this person that I met oh, so briefly during the summer, with the songs I selected knowing that God would want me to be honest with myself and for me to find some sort of peace, because I haven’t been at peace with myself for several months now.
After watching the movie “Letters to Juliet” I figure I would write my own short letter though brief to myself on my blog. Why? The words from the letter written to Claire by Sophie hit home, “what if?” “what if?” “what if?”………..
In the movie, Sophie wrote a letter to Claire: It started like this:
Dear Claire, “What” and “If” are two words as non-threatening as words can be, but put them together, side by side, “and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. “What if?” “What if?” What if?”
The letter is much longer than this but it wouldn’t be fair for me to type out all of the letter if you haven’t seen the movie yet. So, to hear the rest of the letter you would–if you choose to do so, hear the remainder of the letter from the movie.
So, I know the person I speak of can’t hear what I have to say, and I know you all want to know who this person his—only me and God know this person—Oh, my, gosh! Laughing at myself again, it’s been several months now, but I can express how I feel, about them through my favourite song —all for my own heart—and yes, for those who read both my blogs-including http://livingindurham.wordpress.com . It’s my feelings and I have ownership of my feelings and I really needed to be honest with myself—Even though I have felt, deeply, deeply, hurt in the past few months, so much so, it’s taken me awhile to say what I needed to say today—but I finally decided I needed to do it today. Yes, my little moment of revelation. I just needed to be honest with myself about how I really feel and after watching “Letters to Juliet.” I know I needed to do this or rather, I felt compelled to express myself on my blog today.
In addition, I am happy to say that for the past several months now I have been working on losing weight I was a size 16 and now I am a size 8-10 depending on what I wear. I feel really great, So, happily as I shed my past—I shed my weight. My goal for the new year to continue remaining healthy. Oh, my gosh…… I have a lot of energy I drink plenty of water throughout the day and my mind is just going all the time—simple put I, “I get bored easily.” So, if I can’t sleep, I will read or write on my blog, do some housework, work on my business, help the kids with schoolwork, I have a full day.
Keeping myself busy and occupied during my separation is what keeps me sane, along with my spirituality and faith in God, which keeps me really grounded. I am not a big fan of exercising but I love to dance, so I play my favourite songs and just dance to it and I have fun doing it and I do have a dancing partner—-my son, Richard is 5 yrs.old oh, my, gosh! He loves dancing and we dance until he’s burnt out, he’s too sweet.
Happily, I have managed to keep my head above water in the past several months, and manage to keep my kids safe. I have been through quite a bit in the past year, but I know I have angels watching over me and my kids everyday, no doubt about it.
Love Keith Urban—– These songs today are featured as my way of expressing how I really feel, “Till Summer Comes Around, because the person and I met briefly during the summer”. I know nothing about this person really other than they were taller than me, had the greatest smile and the biggest bright eyes I have ever seen, oh, my, gosh!
—–Enjoy the songs!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eAIKXsCntc
Newly Released Song October, 2010—Hope & Jason Mraz
Movie I watched this Weekend: “Letters to Juliet”
This is a really, really beautiful movie. The movie Trailer doesn’t do justice to the depth of the movie story line which is so real and sincere. I cried right through the whole thing. Scene 11 is very touching, when Claire who is depicted as the Grandmother in the movie, says to Sophie, “One of the great joys of life is having one’s hair brushed.” I remember when I was a little girl, my grandmother whose name happen to be Verona, which coincidentally the name of the city the movie took place in is called Verona, Italy. My Grandmothers full name was Verona Miller.
Whenever my Grandmother felt something was wrong with me or I wasn’t feeling well, she would brush my hair all the time. I was deeply touched by this part of the movie. Excellent movie, if you haven’t seen it yet then I recommend you do, very heartwarming and touching story about love, both for Claire the Grandmother and for Sophie who is depicted in the movie as a writer. What the movie really tries to say, is that no matter how old you are love is still possible if you only believe.
“Enjoy!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AmB8spntgg
