Photo: Annie Schlechter–Picture courtesy of “Coastal Living Mag”
“Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work, sometimes those relationships didn’t have a chance because the other person refuse to participate.”
–Melody Beattie
The above quote by Author Melody Beattie says so much about where some relationships do end up. If you are in a relationship and you are working tirelessly trying to make it work and the other person refuses to participate then the relationship deteriorates. Basically, you are on your own in the relationship and that’s no fun, right? So, both people in a relationship needs to participate fully in order for it to survive. Relationships are such that each person in the relationship must see themselves not been able to live without the other so much so that even if the person was away from them for just a couple hours, they would miss each other sincerely.
Lets look at it this way, when we have children we can’t not see ourselves without them, if they are gone for a while we wonder where they are and if they are safe and okay, and we can’t wait to have them back in our sight. The same feelings goes for the relationship between you and your partner, both people should feel they can’t see themselves living without the other–Ever. If both people who are inlove with one another feels this way about each other then everything else eventually falls into place. Meaning, if they feel they can’t both see themselves living without each other then that makes the relationship special and it shows great trust between both partners, and a great bond and connection that will last for many, many years.
Many people today if not most are emotionally attached to their children and we find that this goes way into adulthood. That’s why many parents find it hard to let go of their children. Today many children live at home with their parents well into their late twenties, late thirties, and there is nothing wrong with this. My aunts and uncles lived at home with my Grandparents well into their early thirties, for some families this is wedded on tradition. In my family this was wedded on tradition. What I was illustrating though is how a relationship should be in that each finds it extremely difficult to be apart from or without the other.
Both partners in a relationship need to have that special bond that keeps them together. This they do with the love they feel for each other, the respect and the trust they both have for each other as well as, that strong chemistry, and intellectual and emotional connection that they share. So, for a relationship to survive both partners must realize that what they have found in each other is priceless and that they must cherish the love and strong connection they have found in each other. If they do this their relationship could definately last a lifetime. However, both partners must be fully committed and ready to go on that journey and be prepared to participate fully in the relationship.
Melody Beattie
Melody Beattie on relationships
To compensate for the other person’s unavailability, we worked too hard. We may have done all or most of the work. This may mask the situation for a while, but we usually get tired. Then, when we stop doing all the work, we notice there is no relationship, or we’re so tired we don’t care.
Doing all the work in a relationship is not loving, giving or caring. It is self-defeating and relationship-defeating. It creates the illusion of a relationship when in fact there may be no relationship. It enables the other person to be irresponsible for his or her share. In our best relationships, we have temporary periods where one person participates more than the other. This is normal. But as a permanent way of participating in relationships, it leaves us feeling tired, worn out, needy and angry.
We can learn to participate a reasonable amount, then let the relationship find its own life. Are we doing all the calling? Are we doing all the initiating? Are we doing all the giving? Are we the one talking about feelings and striving for intimacy? We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be, and it will become what it is meant to be. We do not help the process by trying to control it. Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about making it happen. See what happens and strive to understand if that is what you want.
Affirmation of the Day-(Melody Beattie)
Today, I will stop doing all the work in my relationships. I will give myself and the other person the gift of requiring both people to participate. I will accept the natural level my relationships reach when I do my share and allow the other person to choose what his or her share will be. I do not have to do all the work; I need only do my share.
Melody Beattie Author “The language of Letting Go: A Meditation Book and Journal for Daily Reflection” www.melodybeattie.com
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Stormie Omartian Prayer of the Day
www.stormieomartian.com
When You Need to Understand Your Purpose and Your Future
Lord, make me ready to do Your will and move into the purpose for which I was created. Send me out with joy to do Your work. Lead me with peace. Help me to follow You in all things so I can accomplish Your perfect will. Help me to hear the celebration of Your creation as I lift up praise and worship to You over the great things You will do in me, through me, and around me.
You shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace; the mountains and the hills shall break forth into singing before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Isaiah 55:12
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*This week I have featured Love Songs the old mixed with the new as well as, country music by Lady Antebellum and they all represents the feelings that are held in my heart since last summer that won’t go away. More so they are a representation of what love feels like. Isn’t music great though? We get to express how we feel with great songs both old and new.
Anyway, If you think you found true love or your soul mate or the “One” so to speak then don’t take it for granted, because true love is so hard to find. Like Danny Song says “I never want to let you go” So, don’t let the one you love go. For those who have a special person in their lives today then these songs are for you and your significant other.
Enjoy the songs.
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Featured Musician This Week: “Alicia Keys”
Alicia Augello Cook is 30 yrs.old better known by her stage name Alicia Keys, is an American recording artist, musician and actress. She was raised by a single mother in the Hell’s Kitchen area of Manhattan in New York City. Keys’ mother is of Italian, Scottish, and Irish descent, and her father is African American. http://www.aliciakeys.com/ca/home
I Love listening to this song by Alicia—- Enjoy!
Watch Video on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju8Hr50Ckwk
A Great Classic by Anita Baker—“Sweet Love” —Enjoy!
Watch Video on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKoKpYsTz9c
Lady Antebellum one of my favourite Country music group—-Enjoy!
Watch Video on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaOKbvpxnTo
This song by Jason and Hope is one of my favourite love songs of 2010. I have featured this on my blog before here it is again—–Enjoy!
Watch Video on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM6b_8yp9MM
Love, Love this song by Jason & Colbie—Enjoy!
Watch Video on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIBAaJIfwc0
Keri Lynn Hilson is 28 
yrs.old an is a American R&B recording artist and songwriter. During her mid to late teens, Hilson began her career as a songwriter and background vocalist, working under producer Anthony Dent.
Yeah Baby! Love this song & video–Gotta love Usher if your not in a good mood this song should lift your spirit great party song–love the moves @ 4:39——-Enjoy!
Watch On Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB5e0zHRzHc
Daniel Bosco Fernandes is 25 yrs.old and is a Canadian 
singer and songwriter of Portuguese descent. He is signed to CP Records. Danny Fernandes is the younger brother of Canadian artist Shawn Desman (born Shawn Fernandes). http://www.cprecords.com/dannyfernandes/site/
Love this new song by Danny—Enjoy!
Watch On Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy_gbKFEzd0
