Picture Courtesy of “Southern Living Magazine” Charleston weekend Getaway.
Living in the Now for me is about reaching that point in our lives where we are able to make that deep connection with ourselves we know who we are, what we feel, what we expect for our lives. We understand that’s it’s okay to express ourselves without feeling any guilt. We strip ourselves bare metaphorically and as we do this we become more human and more authentic as we travel along our journey through life. This is what I am doing for myself today. When we open up ourselves to our truth and we validate how we feel inside and out it makes us stronger not weaker, because we are learning to overcome any obstacles towards self-expression. There are three songs on my blog today that are a representation of what I feel inside and that beautiful song by Anita Baker- “Body & Soul” says exactly how I feel. Thank God for beautiful music.
This is my son Richard and his birthday was yesterday, March 11th. He just turned 6 yrs.old. He’s into everything Thomas, “Thomas the Tank Engine.” That’s his favourite show to watch and favourite character toy to play with. He wants to be an Engineer and design trains, that’s what he said, I am sure he will be whatever he wants to be he’s already reading pretty good, so he’s off to a great start.
Loving Yourself into Wholeness
According to Sarah Breathnach, life batters us whether we are rich or poor, public or private. The wound we suffer may be an open cut or a slow, silent hemorrhage of the soul. On the outside we may look as if we’ve got our act together, but each of us encounters those dark stormy days when we feel very small, very fragile, and very frightened, as if we might shatter into a thousand pieces and break into heartrending sobs at something as simple as “How are you?”
When this happens says Sarah, we have to be kind to ourselves, not beat ourselves up. Leave that to the rest of the world. Our feelings are valid, our fears very real , even though they are probably not based on reality. Always remember that the best description of fear is “false evidence appearing real.” When these occasions occur in your life, recall that your first duty is to love yourself into wholeness. How to do this? By pampering yourself like the baby you are right now. Could you bring home something wonderful for dinner tonight from a Chinese or Indian carryout? Could you treat yourself to some of the potted daffodils or tulips that are appearing in the shops about ? Could you take the afternoon off and sneak into a matinee? If not, how about bringing home two or three classics from the video store and enjoying a movie marathon with a big bowl of popcorn? Why not delight in a Ice cream cone for lunch, taking it to a park to bask in the sunshine and hear the birds singing?
Yes you can, you don’t have to do everything and be everything for everyone else all the time. Has a woman, If you think you can’t possibly do one more thing without screaming or crying, you’re probably right. Start by saying, “No, I’m sorry, I’ve got a prior commitment.” For, of course says Sarah, you do. Today you need to be there for yourself. Remember, we did not lose ourselves all at once. But we recover our authentic selves one kind gesture at a time.
Sarah Breathnach Author-“Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”—(Chapter March 14) www.sarahbreathnach.com
Mothering myself has become a way of listening to my deepest needs, and of responding to them while I respond to my inner child.—Melinda Burns
Stormie Omartian Prayer of the Day
When You Need Help in Your Relationships
Lord, help me to move in Your love with regard to other people in my life. Help me to come to an agreement and be like-minded with people who are godly. Help us to be in unity with one another. If we all have the mind of Christ and the same Holy Spirit living in us, this shouldn’t be hard to do, unless one of us moves in the flesh and not the Spirit. Help me to always move in the Spirit with regard to my relationships and refuse to be self-centered.
Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
Philippians 2:2
Featured Musician This Week— "J. Lo”
Jennifer Lynn Lopez is 41 yrs.old often nicknamed J.Lo, is an American actress, singer, record producer, dancer, television personality, fashion designer and television producer. Jennifer Lopez was born and grew up in Castle Hill, a neighborhood in the Bronx, New York. She is the daughter of Puerto Rican parents Guadalupe (née Rodríguez), a kindergarten teacher, and David Lopez, a computer specialist. Lopez gave birth on February 22, 2008 to fraternal twins, a girl and a boy. http://jenniferlopezonline.com/
Darn this song is hot! ——-Enjoy!
Newly Released Song March 3, 2011
Watch on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4H_Zoh7G5A
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“If music be the food of life sing on….” Music expresses how we feel, thank God for that because not all of us are gifted singers. Oh, my, gosh! This song by Anita Baker love her voice, she expresses all the unspoken words that are held in my heart since last summer that won’t go away. I know my own heart, it’s mine and I know how I feel, I know I placed it exactly where it’s suppose to be, I have no doubts about this. So, my heart is stuck, I still feel the same way I felt last summer as if it were yesterday. This I quote from the Movie “Letters to Juliet” “If what I felt was true love then, why wouldn’t it be true now?” Yeah, “why wouldn’t it?” Even a year later, two years later, or like in Letters to Juliet fifty years later—“why wouldn’t it be true then?”
When it comes to love I am the kind of person who can’t be with someone for the sake of been with them. In other words, if I am not in love with the person, I can’t go into a relationship and then, like some people would say, “Grow to love the person.” There is no such thing as growing to love a person, it’s either you do or you don’t. You can’t force someone to love you, can you? Has a woman, If I didn’t fall in love with someone in the first place or feel any kind of chemistry or connection with the person initially, how would that relationship work? It wouldn’t. One of my biggest pet peeve with men in general is when you didn’t fall inlove with them in the first place—women out there know the kind I am talking about and they then demand or want to force you to love them. Listen, my philosophy is, if I didn’t fall inlove with you in the first place then you don’t get permission to be with me in a relationship, it’s my decision, not theirs. “How many women out there agree with me?”You can’t force yourself on the woman. If I didn’t fall in love with them, they can’t force me to love them. I decide where I place my heart, you can’t demand that from me. You can’t demand that anyone loves you. Even if the person feels they will make a great partner because the man and the woman have some things in common, or they feel they are a perfect match, it doesn’t matter.
It’s basic common sense, no need to make things complicated, if the woman is not inlove with the man, it can’t work. The result of that is just a one sided relationship. Basically, the man is just entertaining false hopes. “How many women out there would go into a relationship with a man and not be inlove with them?” Very few unless their desperate about something. The same question goes for men, “How many men would go into a relationship with a woman and not be inlove with them?” Especially men who are thinking about a long-term relationship, if they are not inlove with the woman they wouldn’t even think twice about it. With men their very straight to the point, their either in love or not inlove there is no in between for men. So, the same goes for a woman, no different. I would never enter a relationship with any man if I was not inlove with them, because I would be unhappy and so would the other person. This is the 21st century not the 18th century. That’s just crazy. So, let me repeat, if the woman is not inlove with the man, no relationship is possible. So, to men out there, don’t force a woman to be inlove with you, it will never work, the relationship would suffocate and the woman would resent you, and eventually you will resent yourself, it would be just one big mess. The woman will never love the man completely or at all, just find someone else who will love you back that’s it.
For example, some women will date a guy but the relationship breaks up and now the best friend wants to date the woman. My question is, “where is the integrity in that?” Yes, I know women out there will do that and say, “it’s okay if the friend likes me,” but I say no. No matter how much the guy likes the girl it’s not appropriate. I wouldn’t want to do that at all, I have certain values and ethics I follow so no, women shouldn’t do that. The man will say it’s okay but at the end of the day, later on when things have settled down he won’t respect the woman and neither will his guy friend or family and friends around them. Who would respect any man or woman who wants to do anything like that?
Personally for me, don’t set me up with your cousin, uncle, brother or best friend or whom ever I don’t care how handsome they are oh, my gosh! or how much they like me, if I already had an emotional connection with the friend so to speak, you know what I mean—then that kind of setup won’t work for me. I am from the Caribbean and I follow strong traditional values so, I would never date a guy’s best friend, cousin, brother, once I have already established an emotional contact with them. No one would respect me and because I respect myself I wouldn’t do it. I don’t care how attractive the person is or if we are a match or not. That would be embarrassing. If my Grandmother were here she would slap me silly if I wanted to do something like that. My Grandmother thought me so much about values and respect and about what’s right and what’s not. I can’t recall me doing anything like that in my past life, and my dating years were short, because I got married when I was 22 yrs.old. I would like to suggest to both men and women out there don’t do that no matter how much the person likes you or how much you like them, it is selfish to do this, and people who do things like this doesn’t care about the impact their decision have on others, and frankly, they have no respect for themselves either. Men and women who do things like this do it because it’s a means to and end or they want to punish someone for something, it’s mean spirited to do something like that, or they have low self-esteem and that’s not nice at all. Listen, they can and will eventually find someone else to be in a relationship with.
Love Suggestion tip of the Day for Women: Don’t date a guy who have a really, really bad temper and who is emotionally abusive, it will not work. The kind of man that uses his words to cut others to threads and will stop at nothing to get what he wants, someone who has a very forceful personality and demands that others do what he wants at whatever the cost. Someone who is very confrontational. It’s their way or the highway, and if he’s not happy then no one else deserves to be happy either. That’s their mentality and that’s not good it’s toxic. Men like these are selfish and really need to work on their issues before going into a serious relationship. They basically, suck all the warmth out of a space when your with them, very cold personality kind of person. How do you detect these people? They are soft spoken on the outside to people who don’t know them, so it’s hard to detect, extremely emotional people, the slightest disappointment sets them off into a rage but behind the scenes with friends or family their true colours come out. Men like these put tremendous strain on a relationship and eventually the relationship breaks down over time. They tend to have a controlling nature and if the woman doesn’t do what they want or please them all the time, they become angry and resentful. This doesn’t bode well for the woman. I don’t want anyone like that coming into my life at all, now that I am starting a new chapter in my life, too much unhappiness would exist and I don’t need that, kind of person, thank you very much. So, don’t get into a relationship with anyone like this. Too much conflict in a relationship and the relationship breaks down. So, Someone with a more even temperament makes a better partner at the end of the day, and this ensures a long lasting relationship. Someone who is more emotionally balanced and is not easily angered all the time. A person who has “Strength of Character,” in other words, someone who is not prone to react quickly to anger who is not confrontational and who is more level headed and not quick to react. Someone who is willing to compromise. Not a person who is controlling and who thrives off conflict everyday.
Has a woman if I don’t feel love or that special connection, you know chemistry for the person from the beginning then I don’t see myself having that deep connection after. I know many women out there would agree with me. “It’s like trying to start a car that has no gas.” That’s how I feel, I don’t know how others feel. If I have strong chemistry for a person and they have chemistry for me, and I am inlove with them and they are inlove with me that’s “diesel fuel for the start of a great relationship” BUT if I don’t have chemistry for the person or I didn’t fall in love with them in the first place but they feel chemistry for me, it won’t work because it’s just a one sided relationship, because I don’t feel a connection towards them, if I am not inlove with them it won’t work. Everyone have their definition of what love is and what it should be, that’s my definition by now I know what works, and what doesn’t.
This beautiful song by Anita Baker says exactly how I feel about someone who touched my life last summer. Yes, some unusual things happen during the time and even though I felt hurt and disappointed that didn’t change how I feel about them. I could sense though that this person had a lot going on, they had lots of stress for sure, probably along with other things combined. Even though it’s nearly a year later my feelings haven’t changed, no it hasn’t, I think about them everyday, yep, everyday and hope and wish they are okay—whatever happened in the past I am sure there is a valid reason why things happen the way it did, but anyway, no one can take those feelings away they are real, so I will just leave everything in God hands and let him handle it—I love this song.
Turn it up and—–Enjoy!
Yep, “I can’t eat, I cannot sleep………darn it!”
Watch on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adfl0_iM-IY —Top music video of 1994”
Jessica Hilda Mauboy is 21 yrs.old and is an Australian R&B http://www.jessicamauboy.com.au/ singer-songwriter and actress. Mauboy auditioned for the fourth season of Australian Idol in 2006 to pursue a recording career, when she later became the runner-up of the season. Mauboy was raised in Darwin, Northern Territory. Her father is of Indonesian descent and her mother is an Indigenous Australian.
This Song says exactly how I feel, after having a “Serendipitous” moment last summer I still can’t get this person out of my heart……but “who says I want to or I can?”—-Usually I know where to place my trust and I am seldom wrong, Once you declare your love to someone, “how can you change that?” You can’t, so yes, this song asks what has been on my mind for nearly a year now—What Happened?
Love, Love this song—–Enjoy!
Newly Released Song February 10, 2011
Watch on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMECbjDC6lM
Jessica Mauboy ft. Jay Sean
Keyshia Myeshia Cole is 29 yrs.old and is an American recording artist. Keyshia was first introduced to the music industry at the age of 12, when she met and recorded with MC Hammer.In March 2009, Cole began dating Daniel Gibson of the NBA‘s Cleveland Cavaliers and later became engaged to him. On March 2, 2010, Cole gave birth to her first child, a boy, named Daniel Hiram Gibson Jr. http://www.keyshiacole.com/#!all
*Love this Song by Keyshia, like she sings “Love won’t let you walk away, you can’t help who you fall in love with……” No you can’t, as humans we can’t control when this happens either that’s for sure and it usually happens when we least expect it. Like Lynn Franks Author of “Grow” says, “Love more often than not, comes in a surprise package—it could happen at the bus stop, the supermarket, or at a dinner party.”
Great Song Enjoy!
Watch on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POkQXeTv7-4
